My Thanksgiving vacation ended 8 days ago. I boarded a train from Richmond, VA and survived the seven (don’t get me started on Amtrak) hours it took to step foot in New York City once again.
I was coming back for a photo shoot that was scheduled to last most of the following day. With that day’s schedule in mind, I had left The Dog with my parents (he was enjoying his vacation with his cousin Mac the Scotty) and my father would drive him up on a day when work wasn’t too crazy.
Well, the photo shoot happened. Like most of the ones I’ve worked now, it was a unique blend of hurrying up incredibly-insanely-fast and then standing around for hours as you watch monitors, trying to find some “wardrobe malfunction” that will cost the producers money to photoshop and fix.
The following day, I reconnected with my friend Celes over coffee and a movie.
The day after that, I took a train to New Jersey to meet my father who had driven The Dog five hours from Virginia.
The next day, I catalogued costumes from a show I had done earlier in the year. It proved successful enough that the producers have decided to remount it in New York City in early 2012.
Since then, I’ve been trying to “put my New York on,” as a friend has said.
Enjoying, even for a brief eight day spell, a two-story house with a bedroom that could over half of my New York City apartment, its own washer and dryer and dishwasher, access to (2!) cars, a fenced-in yard, Mac the Scotty (the dog I convinced my sulking parents to buy after our very old and much loved first Scotty Stu had passed. Mac still acts like I’m his owner; The Dog is not amused by this), a kitchen where I could bake all day to my hearts content, my nephew who seems to think I’m pretty awesome for some unknown reason, television (!), warm weather, quiet… it just might have been a little hard to get my New York on.
And to that end, it’s been hard to get back to blogging daily. I certainly have the time now; besides updating some paperwork for the New York transfer of the aforementioned show, most of my time is free. I should be taking the hour- maybe an hour and a half- I usually need to get something posted on here. But I haven’t.
I need to get thrown back on the wagon somehow… In a lot of ways.
I’m making my gym-time a priority once again. I’ve staked a claim (and, nicely, my favorite treadmill at the gym always seems to be waiting for me in the morning). I’ve managed to get back up to over 8 miles a day. My goal is 9. I’m taking my time to hit that goal- I only did 17 over the weekend- because I’ve learned that, at 32, my legs aren’t what they used to be.
Maybe I need new shoes.
I’m trying to get The Dog re-acclimated to a life in the city, spent in our small apartment without easy access to a yard or trees. He’s been in a funk recently, quite likely from leaving his Best Friend In The World Mac The Scotty. I’m trying to get him back on his scheduled walks- the morning in Central Park, the afternoon at the Dog Run, and the early and late evening patrols around our block. He’s getting over the disappointment of having to walk on a leash and on concrete again.
Work is slow right now, but I’m trying to earnestly enjoy not having to run around all the time. I could get back to my hobbies; I have a quilt idea that I want to sew, an outfit for myself that wants to be made, an online portfolio that is a year over-due of an update, figure drawing and dance classes that I always mean to get to but never have the time to attend. I’m enjoying things like TV in the evening (Friday Night Lights, anyone?!). I’m making progress on this front too.
What I’m not making progress on is my blog. You see, in full disclosure, I’ve hit the wall that I’ve read about but not yet really experienced. While I want to keep this up daily, what’s the point? With the recent news that a few colleagues and friends have disapproved of this- even to the point of oddly celebrating this blog as a reason to count me out of the race to be a New York City Designer- I’ve found it personally hard to sit down and express my opinions… Even if they deal with something as trivial as driving in this city, or if they have the weight of my grandmother’s health crisis; I’ve felt hesitancy about committing my thoughts to this blog.
I need help getting over this newfound fear of mine. I have to leave behind the rumor-mill that I can’t quite understand. I need to disregard the people who, with friendly concern, share their opinions about how this blog has ruined my career. I must get over the handicapping insecurity that no ones see this as it is: a vehicle to spark dialogue, not a means to “welcome the end of my career.”
It’s made me think why I’ve started this blog… perhaps too much.
I need to get back to my routine. I want to get my “New York on,” and that does include this blog. I know it’s completely up to me and my own dedication to this pet-project of mine, my desire to write about what a life in theater CAN be like, but…
Help. And thanks.
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